So many ways to be myself
And I can't hide it from anyone else
Myself
myself what is it? what is that
I don't know it, even yet
How to be someone how to be whole
if all I can be alone is half
I know I can do it again if I needed
I never asked for this
it's not like I was looking.
I wasn't I wasn't
Who are you to judge it
who are you to say anything.
cast the stone, throw it at us
condemn me if you can... if you can.

There were so many ways
too many possibilities...
what made this one real?
Where is this place you want
where is the water that I need
to clean to cleanse my soul
rooted to this awful place
How have you ever found me
buried here far from your eyes
as far away from everyone
as I could possibly get
as far from myself as I've ever been

Who could that be
to lay a finger on me
Pointing out that I'm a sinner
      that you're the winner
           now you've caught me
Who would be so bold
      to stop me when I got what I wanted
           I think I think
Who is this, unsure of everything?
Where is that child that grew
      that never aged
           that was always there despite the cold
           and the grey and the world.
Come back
   come back to me please

   

all writing on this website is the original works of Stephanie Mayoh. If you'd like to use any of it for any reason, or if you just like what you read, email me at mayoh(at)ece(dot)ualberta(dot)ca